Let’s get ready for the spookiest day of the year with a collection of jokes sure to bring a laugh or two to goblins everywhere. We’ve compiled 31 of our favorites – one for every day in October – for you to share at the dinner table, on the car ride to school or whenever you need a frighteningly funny pick-me-up!
31 Spooky Halloween Jokes
- What do ghosts eat for dinner? Ghoul-ash!
- What are a ghost's favorite pants? Boo jeans!
- What monster plays tricks on Halloween? Prank-enstein!
- What do you call a skeleton who won't work? Lazy bones!
- Where is a monster's favorite place to swim? Lake Eerie!
- Why did the vampire flunk art class? Because he could only draw blood!
- What's the problem with twin witches? You can't tell which witch is which!
- Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story? Because there are so many plots there!
- What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs!
- Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques!
- Why are vampires tough to get along with? Because they can be a pain in the neck!
- Do you know how to make a witch itch? You take away the w!
- Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank!
- Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he couldn't find any body to go with him!
- What do ghosts like for dessert? I scream!
- When does a skeleton laugh? When something tickles his funny bone!
- What's a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist!
- What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin pi!
- Which fruit is a vampire's favorite? A neck-tarine!
- When does meeting a black cat brings the worst luck? When you are a mouse!
- How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern? You use a pumpkin patch!
- What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument? A trombone!
- What dog breed would Dracula love to have as a pet? A blood hound!
- Why is there a gate around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in!
- Why don't bats live alone? They like to hang out with their friends!
- Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day? It's good for the bones!
- What do you call a witch's garage? A broom closet!
- What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist!
- Why do mummies make excellent spies? They're good at keeping things under wraps!
- Why do ghosts like to ride elevators? It raises their spirits!
- Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? Their bats flew away!
Happy Halloween!
